Red Neck Rampage--- Food And Family | emerald's Blog

ET-- This is how a Red Neck consumes food! In past, present, and future! 

"I et a while ago"

"Have you et any of this deer jerky yet?"

"When we gonna et?"

*sighs* Somewhere out there is a mudded-up duley truck with a rebel flag in the window and a bumper sticker that says: Don't like my drivin? Call 1-800- ET-SHIT! --- Yeah, one digit shy of a REAL number. Trust me, it's appropriate!

On the possitive side, my family usually has a good stock of meat to "et" thanks to Red Necks being prime in hunting. Note I say "usually". The freezer is actually pretty empty right now of frozen goods, except for some NON-ettable meats! These would be WHOLE frozen ducks and fish awaiting their time for stuffing and mounting! Uggh! Indeed, if a "hunting season" doesn't come in soon, I think I will thaw out one of the mallards, sprinkle some herbs, fill him with cornbread, and have Duck and Dressing! Yes, it's a sad day when the family must eat your interior decorating to survive!

Family Day-- Oh, THERE'S a cruel, once a year outting! THis would be the family cruising through public access Conservation Land. Not to see the beauty of nature, but to see where the fences mark the boundaries between Government land and private property! A fence can make all the difference between free, frolicking wildlife, and captured game filling my freezer and walls! 

My 10 year old is quickly asleep in the back seat of the car. I'm making mental To-Do Lists... just to have something To Do!! At least the Boy and his father are entertained.

Pointing son: Deer!

Pointing Dad: Yeah! And Squirrel!

Son: Duck! 

Swervy-driving Dad: YEah!... Oh, Slickhead (nick-name for a snake), and I got 'im!

Let me mention here... we just commited a Felony for killing a copper head on the Government's grassy knoll that Hubby had to swerve onto in order to manuver a "brake and scoot" over the reptile's body with the tires! Did we get rid of the evidence?? No! We left the dead snake AND our tread marks for the conservation rangers! 

Fortunately, we didn't get caught or ticketed. I secretly suspect the Rangers are Red Necks, too!